


Shelter

by greenwillow



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Hild is too good a woman, Uhtred is doing his best, Vaguely religious allusions, and everyone is bisexual I don't make the rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26997310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenwillow/pseuds/greenwillow
Summary: "You haven't ever wondered how it would be?”“How what would be?”“You and I, together.”The casual way in which he asked almost convinced Hild it was an honest question."I have not wondered, Lord."She lied, of course. How could she not?
Relationships: Hild/Uhtred of Bebbanburg
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Shelter

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little canonverse ficlet since I love these two. Set during early season 2, give or take. Canon compliant if you squint.

"You haven't ever wondered how it would be?”

“How what would be?”

“You and I, together.”

The casual way in which he asked almost convinced Hild it was an honest question.

"I have not wondered, Lord."

She lied, of course. How could she not?

“Not with me then, Hild. With any man. Or woman!”

She could tell from his tone he was grinning now, and in a particularly exasperating way he seemed to reserve for her alone.

He hovered beside her as she adjusted her horse’s saddle with a bit more precision than was required.

"Have I told you that I like your hair that way?”

She’d begun to wear it half up, hardly used to having locks long enough to run her fingers through after all those years. The vanity that surged in her was a reminder to say an extra prayer later.

"The endorsement I was craving," Hild replied dryly.

He laughed, and she finally let him catch her eye. She could not help but smile back. She always felt most like her old self around him--and she hated him for it. It was a terrifying state of being, to be constantly on guard, preempting her own desires, biting her tongue.

Hild knew he loved the sharp way she spoke to him, the cool way she treated him in company. But when they were alone together...

It was best not to be alone with him. She reminded herself she could never be alone, not truly. No action would go unnoticed by heaven.

Her thoughts, however…her thoughts were harder to control.

They had shared so many moments on which she looked back fondly, wondering how things would have gone if she’d given in, allowed herself to explore a different life.

She could not tell if Uhtred had similar thoughts when they were not together. Of course when he was with her he would flirt, but she was fairly sure that she did not occupy his mind when they were apart. Uhtred was always more likely to focus on the problem before him—and there was always a problem, whether in the form of orders from Alfred or an alluring and dangerous woman.

Hild was not alluring, nor dangerous in the way that he liked. And yet, he loved her anyway. There was no denying he loved her. Subtlety was not one of his virtues. He did not love her in a grand romantic way, but in a persistent familiar way.

Something remained between them despite the time they spent apart. She wondered if it always would. On occasion she wished it would not, only to recant the thought a moment later.

Perhaps this was just being human. To be caught between desire and virtue, between potential joy and potential despair. She knew that if she ever assented, her happiness would not last. There was no world in which she would not regret abandoning her vows.

But she wondered what the satisfaction of giving herself over to him, to herself, would taste like in the moment.

And she was always reminded, whether by her conscience or his cheek, that he was merely doing his best to cope, as she was. 

“I have taught you how to fight,” Uhtred continued, mounting his horse as she did. “I merely wondered if you’d like lessons of another sort.”

The way he shifted in his saddle could not have been a coincidence. Hild pursed her lips, using her annoyance to distract from the rising color in her cheeks.

“I have no interest in learning how to drink an alehouse dry, Lord.”

“That is not the skill I was referring to.”

Clearly her attempts at being obtuse were not working.

“What skill were you offering to teach me, Lord?”

Uhtred grinned wider, gesturing toward her with one of his elbows. “You often do that when you’re embarrassed, you know.”

Hild realized she was gripping the crucifix that hung round her neck.

She rolled her eyes in lieu of saying a prayer and released her hold on the pendant gently.

“I am not embarrassed, Lord. I am reminding myself of my devotion to God.”

“Your god is a strange one if he does not want you to be happy.”

“Perhaps happiness looks different for me than it does for you.”

“Perhaps," he shrugged. 

“Neither of us has found peace yet, Lord. I pray we both do.”

He was quiet for a time and they carried on.

The summer warmth turned wet as they rode on, and slight rain that had begun to fall turned to a full storm by midday. There was no use continuing their journey in that weather.

Hild spied a lean-to up ahead set back from the road. It looked like it had been part of a farm that had been abandoned years ago.

They dismounted and ran for shelter. There was just enough room for the horses to stay dry at one end, and she and Uhtred made do with the other. The packed dirt floor was scattered with straw that gently whispered as the rain fell through gaps in the thatched roof.

She had laid a blanket down for herself, and he sat beside her on the straw, leaning against the rough-hewn walls. A large drop of water landed on his temple; he squinted up at the ceiling.

There was a sizable hole in the thatched roof above him. Water was pooling nearby.

Hild sighed.

“Move over. You’re practically laying in a puddle.”

He obeyed, shifting his position so that he was looking at her from only a few inches away. She turned towards him too, apparently in the mood to test her will against temptation.

Uhtred's expression was softer than she’d expected. He had a habit of turning self-reflective with absolutely no warning. Luckily it never lasted long.

“I never expect you to say yes, you know. When I tease you.”

Hild dropped her gaze and smoothed the blanket beneath her.

“I know you don’t. And you know I never will. So why do you continue?”

He played with the edge of the blanket, fingertips brushing against her knuckles.

“I don’t know. I enjoy being close to you. And you don't let anyone else tease you that way.”

“No, I do not.”

“Do you wish me to stop?”

She glanced back up at him, watching his mouth twitch slightly as he formed his next thought.

“You know that if you were to command me to stop, I would.”

“No, Lord. I do not command you to stop.”

“Then why are you so sombre, Hild?”

She hesitated to answer, not because she did not know how to answer but because she was not sure he wanted to hear it.

“My heart aches for you, Uhtred. I hope you will allow yourself to be close to another, in time.”

The flicker of pain in his eyes almost made Hild regret her words. She hated to bring up Iseult--the woman had been dear to them both, and watching Uhtred grieve her was difficult. Hild had avoided speaking of her directly for so long, perhaps selfishly in part. But her love required honesty now, not only with herself but with him.

“I believe that you will, Lord. When you find the right woman….or man.”

His mouth quirked into a smile.

“If you believe it, it must be true.”

“Is that a confession of faith, Uhtred of Bebbanburg?”

The laugh that broke forth from him was healing.

“That’s a very neat trick, woman.”

Hild laughed along with him. As much vexation as he brought into her life, he also brought laughter and warmth.

She hoped never to lose that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on tumblr @aadmelioraa


End file.
